Mr. Doe is the co-owner of Dogfucker Records, a prominent label in North Vancouver studio culture. "Even if someone gets to your submitted cd, or heaven forbid attends your band's show, you get a fifteen second judgement and then we must move on. And god help you if that short opportunity involves an experimental or old-school approach in any way, because we know what sells and what doesn't."
Doe toyed with an Action Man figurine made of extruded plastic and stroked his significant facial hair. A cable modem blinked idly and car engines roared quietly outside the venetian blinds.
"It used to be that I would go to shows and really love a band and believe that I would be the one to make them famous, to make others see their quality and potential," he said. "But the fact is that a huge number of these demo discs have bands like that, which is either encouraging or disheartening depending on how you look at it."
Some people believe that record labels of late have absolved themselves of responsibility for developing niche market trends, prompting marked stagnation in anything not currently in vogue. "This makes money. We know that. It keeps making money even though Old Navy is totally out of girls' straight cut jeans. The mentality in the business is, if it ain't broke, why fix it, and the statistics support this apathy, the RIAA's efforts to the contrary."
Shifting weight to his left butt cheek in order to fart, Doe explained that people are truly idiots. "Nobody will admit it, but they don't really know that their chosen bands are that much greater than any other, and the only factor that determines their initial respect is coverage in the appropriate newsrag. No offense meant, of course."
The paper did not take offense, as it is an inanimate and nonmaterial construct representing shareholders.